leaving on a jetplane...

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go...

no, i am not leaving.. i aint going anywhere.. but my brother is..

tonight, at 10:30pm, my only brother, Jonas, the youngest among us, will be boarding the Airbus/plane and will bid goodbye to us.. he's joining my father in the U.S for good.. last night, i found myself crying because i won't be seeing my brother again for a long time..

i'm never good in saying goodbye.. that's why i declined my sister's offer to join them later tonight to see Jonas at the airport.. i would only be wailing like a kid if i stay there.. besides, i have to attend to my kids' welfare first because they are not able to sleep without me by their side..

thankfully, my bro and i were able to spend the rest of the week together.. i held a despedida party for him at home last Sunday. among my siblings, i am much closest to Jonas, because we are on the same wavelength.. we think alike, we look alike, we love alike.. i can be myself when i talk to him.. i can't even talk to my mother as comfortable as the way i talk to Jonas.. that's why i will be missing him so much..

yes, i am happy because he's finally going to U.S and be with our dad.. i just can't help but feel sad because he won't be there at once when i need him or when i need a brotherly shoulder to lean on to.. ahhh..

anyway, i pray for my brother's safety the moment he boarded the plane and get off from it until he reaches his destination.. i'm gonna miss you a lot, lot, lot, bro..

mwah !