- fangirl memories -
i was rummaging through my old e-mail messages on my Filing Cabinet when i chanced to see this letter that I sent to my favorite Taiwanese guy, Ken Zhu. Funny how I realize how much of a fangirl i was when i was still single and so into fanfics and chinky-eyed guys.. (hey, i still am a fangirl, i think.. but i'm out of jel's league when it comes to "real fangirling", ahihih)
i remember clearly when jiLL and cristina (two of my Ken-netic friends) asked all of us to send in all our well-wishes, e-mails, fan messages and the like, to our favorite boyband-F4, just after they had a mini-concert here in the Philippines (wayback Sept. 2003).
i was intimately in-love with Ken Zhu at that time, so madly in love that i was willing to shell out thousands of pesos just to buy F4 Stuffs, magazines, photos, books and even concert tickets to have a glimpse of F4 in flesh.. and i do not regret any minute of it.. not even a peso.. (hey i already have a job when i started drooling over these guys, so money was not a question to me.. hahaha, yabang!)
anyway, back to my main topic... when jiLL & cristina asked for fan messages, of course i sent my thoughts and loving piece for ken through e-mail. i was a hopeless romantic, i should say... for the benifit of all my readers (in case i still have one, hehehe), here's the letter i sent to Ken Zhu, dated December 24, 2003...
My dear Ken Chu....
Just as a poet needs inspiration to write a masterpiece
I need you ...
Just as an artist needs a subject for his work of art,
I need you ...
Just as a teacher needs a pupil to mold into greatness,
I need you ...
Just as a composer needs a theme to create a timeless melody,
I need you ...
For without you, Ken, my life would be empty of all inspiration. There will be no work of art for me to gaze at; no person of greatness before me; no timeless melody to listen to. My life will exist in shades of gray instead of vibrant colors, and I will be less than whole.
It is very important for me to express to you how much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person while holding you in my arms and gazing into your eyes. But since we are physically separated by miles of emptiness, this expression must come in the form of letters such as this.
My admiration for you has been assaulted many times. Most people do not understand the feeling I have for you.. They say, you are unreachable, just like the meteors above, but I do not give into their false beliefs. For I know that someday, you will be landing on the same soil as to what I am stepping on right now. You've done this before when you set foot in the Philippines for your first concert. Somehow, I felt the connection, but you are not aware of it.. Because you are deep in your thoughts.. thinking on how to improve your craft and how to please your legoins of fans among nations..
I know I sound mushy and cheesy, but there's no other way for me than to express how I feel about you. I'm hoping that this mail of mine will fall in your hands and will be read by your lips.
Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love, my warm embrace, and my most passionate kiss.
Love always,
Arianne Claire aka MyKenZhu
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